The Anti Hype

A Tutorial on Derivative Markets (AKA The World Banking Crisis)

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit.

In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed alcoholics – to drink now but pay later.

In a ledger, she keeps track of the drinks consumed (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around about Heidi’s drink-now-pay-later marketing strategy and as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi’s bar and soon she has the largest sale volume for any bar in Detroit.

By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.  Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit.  He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS.  These securities are then traded on security markets worldwide.

Naive investors don’t really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics.  Nevertheless, their prices continuously climb, and the securities become the top-selling items for some of the nation’s leading brokerage houses, who collect enormous fees on their sales, pay extravagant bonuses to their sales force, who in turn purchase exotic sports cars and multimillion dollar condominiums.

One day, although the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the bank (subsequently fired due to his negativity), decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi’s bar.

Heidi demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed, they cannot pay back their drinking debts.  Therefore, Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and so claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBONDS and ALKIBONDS drop in price by 90 %.  PUKEBONDS perform better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.  The decreased bond asset value destroys the bank’s liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans.

The suppliers of Heidi’s bar, having granted her generous payment extensions and having invested in the securities, are faced with writing off her debt and losing over 80% on her bonds.

Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, and her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 50 workers.

The bank and brokerage houses are saved by the Government, following dramatic round-the-clock negotiations by leaders from both political parties.  The funds required for this bailout are obtained by a tax levied on employed middle-class non-drinkers.

Source Unknown but whoever you are – thanks for clearing up the reason for the World Banking Crisis.

Just had a Derek & The Dominoes moment as I was doing some work on embedding videos and came across this old video

The Viper Video Tags plugin really works well with these videos.

See how easy it is!

Click the icon, post the YouTube url and you’re done. See more at WizzerSays – blogging instructions

It’s Christmas Day and you’ve taken a quick “livener” and now the kids are pestering you to help them build their new kit that Santa has left them.

Please, next year, make sure you read all of the instructions first and don’t just assume that because you’re “Dad” you know best…

Get the latest Flash Player to see this player.

Image via Wikipedia

This is a very sad day for me.

Not only did my team lose again last night – I can’t bring myself to write anymore about that! – I heard this morning that Richard Wright – keyboard player with Pink Floyd has just died from cancer.

I just hope when his time came “I’m not frightened to die” was his reality.

Here’s the press release

In tribute here’s The Great Gig In The Sky – RIP Richard

Related articles by Zemanta

• Pink Floyd’s Dave Gilmour pays tribute to band’s founder Richard Wright

The Anti Hype would jump at the chance to suggest that “17 days of glorious blue skies – with only one morning of cloud!” was over hyped – BUT, it’s 100% true!

Spain & Portugal lived up to expectations but now I’m back to my current reality – The Great British Summer.

For those of you fortunate enough not to experience it – It’s the same as winter (grey skies) but a bit warmer!

Here’s a sample of the skies I’ve got used to:

The Aqua Show Water Park in Portugal

Faro as the sun goes down

My short term plan involves ensuring I can spend about 6 weeks under skies like that every year. Can I do it?

Absolutely. The way my business is developing and with the installation of broadband at my apartment in Spain I see no reason why next year I can’t make that a reality.

6 weeks of sun, sea, golf and relaxing. With some blog posts and contact by mobile and email I can easily see myself generating the income I need to keep my going while I’m away.

There’ll be some restructuring of activities during the next few months but as part of my plan to create a new lifestyle I’m really positive and have the focus I need to make this happen.

Image via Wikipedia

If I thought about the worst thing to write about as the first post to this blog this would be it!

But I didn’t think about it. It’s just the way life is.

A good friend of mine – I’ve known him for about 30 years – was diagnosed with cancer this week.

He knew nothing about it until a routine minor operation highlighted the problem.

For me it puts life into perspective.

Do it today.

Whatever it is because who knows what tomorrow brings.

Want to say sorry to someone?

Do it today.

Want to change career?

Do it today.

Want to tell someone you love them?

Do it today.

Want to start a business?

Do it today.

Want to play golf instead of working?

Do it today.

Thinking of “Following Me” on Twitter?

Do it today.

You may never get another chance.

It puts me in mine of the lyrics from a song called – Killing of George sung by Rod Stewart:

…and I quote:

Never wait or hesitate

Get in kid before it’s too late

You may never get another chance

‘Cause youth’s a mask

But it don’t last

Live it long & live it fast

A good way to live your life, I think.